Friday, November 14, 2008

Home Sweet Home

 


This morning I walked into my front room and was filled with such a warm and cozy feeling that I just stopped right in my tracks and looked around. What I saw would never grace the pages of a magazine, or make anyone gasp with amazement when they walked in the door. But as I looked around, I was overwhelmed with feelings of appreciation that this was MY home. We have lived in this home for 14 years, and it has become the home of my heart. All around me are the echos of my children running up and down and in and out. There are stains from those little feet that will never come out of the worn carpet, and frazzled edges where the toenails of the world's largest Golden Retriever grabbed as he came racing around the corner to welcome one of his beloved people home. There are many things that should be replaced, or repaired, or repainted, but I say "should be" because they don't need to be in order for us to live here in complete peace and comfort. This house is enough for me. My heart overflows with emotion as I look at the photos on the walls of days gone by--days that will never happen again. As my days with children in this home draw to a close, I am almost overcome with despair. The mother part of me is the only part I really know, and things will be changing soon. I feel a heartbreak of Biblical proportions coming on, but I know that I can cope with that just as I have coped with the first one leaving, the second one leaving, and the third one leaving. I am just grateful for the few months that I have left with my precious baby girl, for she fills our home with laughter and joy, and for that I am eternally grateful. I cannot think of an empty nest right now, for there is too much joy in this moment. There is a home to decorate for the Holidays, and there is a loving and wonderful husband who is my best friend and is truly what makes this house the home that it is. There is a Grandbaby on the way, and new cycles of life for my beloved children with all the joy that new marriages and missions and education and progression bring in such abundance. Yes, there is always change on the horizon, so I will hop on board and make the most of each and every day and just be grateful for the moments that I have to live in my peaceful home, love my incredible family, and let them go with as much grace as I can possibly muster...
Posted by Picasa

8 comments:

ELDON and SHELLI said...

I love you, Mom.

McEwens said...

I love this post Connie. I am like you, this is hard to watch them grow and leave...

Love your home!

So were you the yellow or the pink sister?

Connie said...

That's so cute that Mary has told you even about the yellow and pink thing we have going. I am the Yellow Sister. :) I don't know what I would ever do without her love, support and friendship. She really is one of my favorite blessings, and I am so thankful that she is my (pink!) sister. Have a wonderful day, Pam, and thanks for commenting on my blog. Shauna is applying to BYU, so I guess that is where all this nostalgia is coming from...It's so wonderful to see them grow and develop, but it's awfully hard on the Mammas, as you can attest.

Bryce said...

Oh, Momma... :)

Doesn't worry. I loves you, too!

Bonnie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bonnie said...

Con, this is such a bitter sweet time. People use to tell me~this is what you raised them to become... grown up and independent! You will find your place but it will be different. Allow yourself the time to mourn it and then live it up, Con.

There are some fun times ahead but always in your heart that little twinge that they have flown away. They will be the kite and you will be the tail that gives it balance. But yours will always be back for more. Their little families will multiply and pretty soon you'll want to move to Utah...it is the routine...I know it well. You will do well as will they.

And by the way, your home is lovely just because it is, but also because of the amazing family you have raised in it. Well done! You can come gallivanting with me when the time comes.

Connie said...

Thanks for your sweet words, Bon. I know that you understand this incredible mother-child bond that brings our deepest joy and our most searing pain.... :)

And as much as I hate to see them leave, I always say that the only way I could ever cry harder would be if they didn't leave--that is what we have raised them up to do, and it is a good plan...As long as they come home and call home OFTEN!!! :)

Deanna Munoz said...

Connie, you amaze me. I am your biggest fan, and you are an AMAZING woman. Thank you for the example you are, you are the best mom, and friend. I can't wait for your next adventure!!! You will be fine!!!
LOVE YOU!!!